and for a minute there, i lost myself

to be honest, i have no idea what i'm blogging about. i just kind of felt like sitting down and typing then seeing what comes of it.

do you ever wish you could be someone else just to see what goes through their head and why? i've been thinking about this a lot lately and i really don't think i would enjoy it. sure it would be fun for a while, but it would start to feel invasive even if you were "meant" to be there.

i've been really big into radiohead lately, i'm not sure what it is, but it's awesome. i really dig radiohead and the way their music makes me feel.

so it's kind of cool having an older brother figure like rob in my life. i feel like he's the big brother that i never had and i'm excited for him and angie to move back to salt lake so we can start doing stuff together.

with saying that, i'm also excited for them to have kids. i love little kids, it's kind of weird almost. i don't want to get married or anything but i want to have kids way bad. i just love the innocence of them and how much fun they can be. that's what i love about hanging with my little cousin austin, i'm such an influence on his life and i love it!

i really want to teach a little kid to ski or snowboard.

work is sort of kind of stressful right now with the number of people that are on the website at one time asking the stupidest questions known to man. people that don't even participate in outdoor activities could answer these questions most of the time.

working in customer service has made me realize, some people are just not happy....EVER. it's kind of sad actually. you try and cheer people up and they still are complete jerks. it makes me want to ask them "what's so bad in your life?" "you're buying a $500 pair of skis and you act like it's the worst thing in the world." it's crazy. some people just need to live a little sometimes and be happy.

i'm completely and utterly in love with the food network. i watch in entirely too much for a 20 year old guy. i love the channel though, so many awesome things on there.

i really need it to snow. clearly we're being punished for something, i'm sorry mother nature, i take all the blame on my shoulders. i apologize for whatever this state did to you. it was probably that guy i saw throw a bag of mcdonald's out his window today.

sometimes i actually think there was a Karma Police, it would be so cool to have someone enforcing Karma. although i do feel like it's a real thing because you always get what's coming to you in the end. i've been on the receiving end of some bad karma in my day, it's chill though.

you ever had that feeling like you're being a hypocrit but you know that you're doing the right thing in doing so?

sometimes i feel like my words fall upon deaf ears. either my words aren't worth hearing or i need to find a new audience. it's probably my fault for having "deaf ears" for so long. i don't belong here.

but in so many ways i do, my family is here. my true passions in life are here. i thought people in Utah were so lame for so long but some of the best people i know are part of those people i used to consider lame. where would i be without their influences in my life? you're right, probably dead or in jail.

i've never been one to rely on other people, but i've come to realize, other people keep me sane. interaction with people i enjoy keeps me sane. there's nothing i would give up for the chance to talk with some people any day of the week.

christmas is just around the corner and i seriously am way excited about it this year. this is the first time in a long time i've felt in the Christmas spirit. it's more than just a time of year, it's a frame of mind.

i love people that are in tune with themselves. they know who they are and enjoy it. the cool thing is with each person when they come to embrace what and who they are it's what draws me in. i guess i'm attracted to confidence since i lacked it for so long.

i lost my train of though, stupid espn. so that means i'm done for the night. expect more in the coming weeks, i'm in a very thoughtful mood.

i love you all.

peace and love.

-aaron