Just another day in the SLC

Lazy Days in Salt Lake

2011-01-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

Days off are fantastic.

This semester I have class on two days.
Monday: 11:30-7pm
Wednesday: 11:30-2:45

The rest of the week, I have to do nothing since I'm not working right now. It is one of the most fantastic semesters I've ever had. I love it so much even if I'm not particularly fond of my classes. Oh well, I'm almost done and you can't always love everything that you're doing in school, right?

What did I choose to do with my day today? Well in all reality, very very little. The big thing I did was wake up and went for a run with Oakley. I did my usual loop that I've been doing for a while, although I haven't done it since it started snowing. This consists of from my house to 9800 south along 2200 west, then from 2200 to 2700 and then back to 10400 south and back home. All in all it's about 3 miles or so. Before today I've always been able to get roughly halfway before I felt like my lungs and legs were about to explode. Today I hit that halfway point and just kept going. I was expecting to hit my wall a little bit after but it never came. I completed this full loop without stopping or walking once! It was a huge accomplishment for me. Never did I think I'd be able to do this, let alone in the 40 minutes that I did do it.

My stamina is definitely increasing and it feels good. I need the snow to melt though so that I can get on my bike! I have to do the 26.2 mile bike tour at the Salt Lake City Marathon this year! It sounds like so much fun and I want to do it. I need to start getting bike legs. I really need to find a spinning class that I can attend regularly. I have a body built for biking, strong calves and thighs. I need to take advantage of it. Being in shape is one of the greatest feelings I've ever had and I never want to let it go.

Other than going for a run today I decided to start taking pictures again. I get discouraged since I think that pictures need to be of pretty things out in nature or somewhere exotic. I decided though to force myself to take 30 pictures in my own backyard. I did so with a lot of different settings and angles and then wanted to practice my Photoshop skills with my best pictures. Here are the 4 I chose:

Puppy

Winter

Warmth

Childhood

Love/Hate Relationship

2011-01-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

I hate school and they love taking my money. That's the love/hate relationship that I'm currently in. Today was a long day. I left for Trax at 10am and didn't get home until 7:30pm and I got out of class early. On most Mondays I won't be getting home until at least 8pm. 10 hours is way too long! Oh well, it's worth it.

What is it people write about in their blogs in January? Generally the new year? I guess I'll do that. 2011, I guess a lot has changed. I'd say the biggest thing is that I'm 140 pounds lighter than I was in July of 2010. I feel good and it has been a long road that was well worth it. The other big thing in my life is that I have Emily in my life. Very lucky for that and very thankful.

My cooking, photography and other hobbies have kind of been put on the back burner lately. I need to get more into them and combine them! Take pictures of my food, yes please. I need to go on more photo adventures and would love company on these adventures.

I'm currently unemployed and getting a weekly paycheck from the government. Yes, that's right, I'm a burden on society and collecting unemployment checks each week. It feels good and I love feeling very democratic and liberal every time I file my weekly claim.

I so far like the new blog and the new blog content. I'm going to take it and run.

New blog

2011-01-10T11:28:00.000-08:00

We're going to make this more adult and I'm going to actually start posting more.

Be ready my readers, I don't know if you'll be able to handle what is coming.

Ignorance is your new best friend

2010-05-15T00:07:00.001-07:00

It was one of those weeks. You know the kind I'm referring to. It wasn't good, but it wasn't terribly bad. Overall it was more negative than positive though. There are only a few words that can describe it best...blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. A filler, not a good kind of filler but a boring one.

click, click, click. the faint sound of a rumble but still just that all familiar click. no turning over, no starting....just silence and stillness. you want to get going, you're in a hurry. the deafening silence broken again by the click, click, click. a jump is needed but there is none in sight. i need some cables.

Get me going, please, just do it. This lull and constant nothing is killing me. I feel like I'm at an in between in my life. Moving past a couple of things but not ready to jump into that next set of obstacles we like to call life. Oh life, you're a confusing mistress....you're exactly that, a mistress. The one we hide away but can't stay away from...ever tempting, I can't resist.

My sister is having a little girl...yay! I'm going to be the uncle to a beautiful little girl (I'm already expecting her to be gorgeous)

Riverton...blah. Good money, decent work, just bored of the construction industry.

Graduating in a year...best news I've had in years.

Still single....I'm sure that's a shocker.

The biggest news in my life is that I will be purchasing a dog in the following weeks...a lab of (hopefully) the chocolate kind from the Humane Society. Finally a companion who is easy to deal with.

I dig your style. I dig your smile. I dig your situation. I dig you.

Ya dig?

I'm tired, going to bed...will leave you with a picture before I leave.

Big Cottonwood Canyon Creek

Peace and Love.

-Aaron

i just wanna feel something today

2010-03-12T20:41:00.001-08:00

g(r)asping

so crisp, cool and refreshing. you feel so light and free, the still and dark surrounding you. like floating in mid-air, anti gravity. nothing can stop you. euphoria, pleasure, carefree. over time this feeling starts to wain, your limbs become heavy, chest becomes tight. you get a sense of urgency, panic, your eyes widen. senses start becoming clear and more sharp. you can feel it now. the sheer pain shooting through your lungs and stomach. you reach for the edge but there is nothing to grab. there never was. you slowly start drifting, fading, becoming one with your surroundings. the panic fades, you can see the light now. things become a little more fuzzy and faded, you're getting that feeling again: crisp, cool, refreshing, light, free, stillness....dark.

just a little something i wrote a little while back after a rough night.

this has been a much better week for me. overall it was extremely good. i aced my test on monday, work went well. the rest of the week was mine.

met some new people who are very genuine, lunch with friends. my camera and i in a romance of our own.

wednesday was one of the best days of my year so far...these three pictures sum it up best:

Sanctuary

Dad and Duncan

Happiness is a snowstorm

i'm excited for summer, i love winter and snow and skiing/snowboarding but i want some spring/summer lovin.

camping, sitting outside, music at night with the windows down, driving down that familiar road, tans, shorts, flip flops and most importantly, love.

peace and love.

-aaron

a day in the life...

2010-03-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

it's the beginning of the end....of my blog that is. today marks the day that i change things up a bit and give you a visual look (with some help from photoshop) into my life.

Monday
My Life

Tuesday
My Love

Thursday
My two favorite people

Friday
No end in site

Saturday
The city I was born to love

this has been a tough week, i'm not going to lie. a lot of emotions that i didn't think i'd have to go through again. it's for the better though, things will get better.

i can't say enough how thankful i am for my family. they are my biggest inspiration and i wouldn't be anything without them. my parents are by far the two best/strongest/bravest/*insert any adjective here*. angie and rob as well, i'm excited to be an uncle, i will love your child more than anything else whether it be a boy or a girl. i think it's a boy.

i haven't shown enough love to my TRUE friends lately. i've been caught up with some other things in my life and it saddens me. i wish most of you didn't live so far away but i'm glad that there has been a resurgence of you in my life.

things are turning around, we all have our ups and downs. you can't go anywhere but up after having a low. i look forward to the future, i feel good about myself and where i'm going.

lost 10 pounds and i feel good.

i've decided i'm never leaving this beautiful state that we all live in. take a deep breath salt lake, you're with me for life.

i like the change to the blog, expect one at least once a week.

peace and love.

-aaron

I Gotta Feeling

2010-02-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

"I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

Tonight's the night, let's live it up
I got my money, let's spend it up
Go out and smash it like oh my God
Jump off that sofa, let's get, get off

I know that we'll have a ball
If we get down and go out and just lose it all
I feel stressed out, I wanna let it go
Let's go way out spaced out and losing all control

Fill up my cup, mozoltov
Look at her dancing, just take it off
Let's paint the town, we'll shut it down
Let's burn the roof, and then we'll do it again"

It's just how I need to start living my life. Live it up! We're all too young to worry about everything. Everyone is too stressed these days. Thinking about school, work, the opposite sex, anything and everything!

When did life become so complicated? We all make mistakes! It's what makes us learn. Society puts way too much emphasis on being perfect. Perfect people are boring!

"Here we come, here we go, we gotta rock
Easy come, easy go, now we on top
Feel the shot, body rock, rock it, don't stop
Round and round, up and down, around the clock

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday
Get, get, get, get, get with us, you know what we say, say
Party every day, p-p-p-party every day"

Let's get out there and do it for ourselves! No one can do it except for you.

I need to take this message to heart more than anyone else, I need to do it for ME. No one else, just me. Too often do I live for other people. It's been my blessing and my curse for my entire life. I care way too much about other people that I put them over myself. When will I start listening to what I WANT.

FUCK IT! I'm gonna live it up! I'm 21, almost 22 years old. I have a long life ahead of me. Needless to say, I can't wait.

peace and love.

-aaron

Boss D.J.

2010-01-21T15:18:00.000-08:00

There's a steel train comin' through I would take it if I could
And I would not lie to you because sunday mornin' soon will come

When things will be much easier to say
Upon the microphone like a boss dj
But I won't walk up upon the sea like it was dry land
Boss dj ain't nothin' but a man
No trouble, no fuss, I know why..

It's so nice, I wanna hear the same song twice,
It's so nice don't wanna hear the same song twice

Rumors are spreading all over my town
But it's just stones and sticks,
Upon the microphone is where I go to get my fix

Just let the lovin' take a hold 'cause it will if you let it
I'm funky not a junkie but I know where to get it
No trouble no fuss I know why

It's so nice I wanna hear the same song twice
It's so nice I wanna hear the same song twice

Oooee girl
Oooee girl
Oooee girl

Ooee girl and there really ain't no time to waste
Really ain't no time to hate
Ain't got no time to waste, time to hate
Really ain't no time to make the time go away

So mister dj don't stop the music,
I wanna know,
Are you feelin' the same way too?

I wanna rock it wih you-ou girl,
You-ou girl, you-ou girl, oooooo
Mmmmmhmmmhhmmm
Don't stop

''cause it's so nice I wanna hear the same song twice,
It's so nice I wanna hear the same song twice

Nowadays all the songs on the radio,
They all,
All drive me crazy

Dosed

2009-12-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

"I got dosed by you and
Closer than most to you and
What am I supposed to do
Take it away I never had it anyway
Take it away and everything will be okay
In you a star is born and
You cut a perfect form and
Someone forever warm
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life
Show love with no remorse and
Climb on to your seahorse and
This ride is right on corse
This is the way I wanted it to be with you
This is the way that I knew that it would be with you
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life
I got dosed by you and
Closer than most to you and
What am I supposed to do
Take it away I never had it anyway
Take it away and everything will be okay
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life"

-Red Hot Chili Peppers

don't feel like explaining
peace and love.

-aaron

Inches

2009-12-13T18:08:00.000-08:00

This may be about football but it has a lot of things about life as well. This has been a big part of my life, just this speech.

I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you.
I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....
I pissed away all my money
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game
life or football
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that's going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That's football guys.
That's all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?

Uncle John's Band

2009-12-06T23:31:00.000-08:00

"Well the first days are the hardest days, don't you worry any more,
'Cause when life looks like Easy Street, there is danger at your door.
Think this through with me, let me know your mind,
Wo, oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?

It's a buck dancer's choice my friend; better take my advice.
You know all the rules by now and the fire from the ice.
Will you come with me? Won't you come with me?
Wo, oh, what I want to know, will you come with me?

Goddamn, well I declare, have you seen the like?
Their wall are built of cannonballs, their motto is "Don't tread on me".
Come hear Uncle John'n Band playing to the tide,
Come with me, or go alone, he's come to take his children home.

It's the same story the crow told me; it's the only one he knows.
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go.
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait,
Wo, oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?

I live in a silver mine and I call it Beggar's Tomb;
I got me a violin and I beg you call the tune,
anybody's choice, I can hear your voice.
Wo, oh, what I want to know, how does the song go?

Come hear Uncle John's Band by the riverside,
Got some things to talk about, here beside the rising tide.

Come hear Uncle John's Band playing to the tide,
Come on along, or go alone, he's come to take his children home.
Wo, oh, what I want to know, how does the song go.

-Grateful Dead"

peace and love.

-aaron

Sunday 11/29 Playlist

2009-11-29T23:26:00.000-08:00

My playlist for the last little bit...just felt like I needed to share:

Oh What a World - Rufus Wainwright

My Funny Valentine - Frank Sinatra

Karma Police - Radiohead

Better Together - Jack Johnson

Hey Ya (Cover) - Obadiah Parker

Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band

Weird but good mood tonight, too much to think about. Too much to talk about.

I'm scared, even moreso now.

Short tonight, maybe more later this week.

Peace and Love.

-Aaron

happiness is a warm gun

2009-11-14T22:24:00.000-08:00

this one's for you sister!

10 thankfuls

1. first and foremost will always be my family, the greatest thing i could ever ask for. mom, dad, sister and rob. love you all. wouldn't be anywhere without you

2. snow. FIRST REAL SNOW OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!! so happy

3. music, both listening to it and playing it. so many ways to express my emotions just through song

4. great cousins/aunts/uncles, i guess this could be grouped with family but they're different

5. football! football! football! whether it's from Austin's little league team winning state to watching my Utes and Cowboys....it's the best sport in the world

6. friends, there's a couple in particular, jill, brennan, alison, mackenzie, alex and ashley....only alison reads this but you're all amazing and i'm thankful for all of you

7. the holiday season! i'm such in the spirit this year, for the first time in years, i've been too selfish as of late

8. my job, i may complain about it often but i really do love it

9. skiing, it has started and you won't be seeing much of me in the upcoming months!

10. institute...yep, i said it, most of you weren't aware but yes i've started going to institute and everything, gives me another perspective on life

with those being stated i'd like to just add one more thing

i've been happier in the past month or so than i have been in months

stopped drinking (yes, it's been hard), stopped swearing as much, started living a more clean/honest life

judge me all you want, i really could care less anymore

peace and love.

-aaron

it feels really good,

what's cooler than being cool?

2009-11-06T00:54:00.000-08:00

just one of those days i guess.

stuff started out good, woke up in a really good mood.
-studied for my two tests for the day
-passed one i'm pretty sure, unsure about the other
-went about my day, a little disappointed at one point
-school, work, the usual schedule

mixed it up a little bit, jazz game, poker, new friends

cleared my head

got home, not so much, a little lost

why does this have to be so hard?

can't stand to fight the feeling cuz the thought alone is killin me right now

i need november and december to go by quick

the new year always feels like a new beginning even though nothing changes

but separate is always better when there's feelings involved

i'm feeling really solid in a lot of new additions to my life though, finally feeling like there is a purpose to some things

if what they say is "nothing is forever", then what makes love the exception?

christmas shopping is all done for my family, feels good, i'm excited for them to all get their gifts

chin up, smile, it's a brand new day

you got this bro

you never know what might happen...walls come down every day

you never thought it would happen before but it did and just took some time

maybe the outcome will be different this time?

we can only hope

i feel lame talking in 3rd person

only way i can express my feelings through written form right now

ugh.

i need a drive this weekend, who wants to join me?

weird soundtrack for my night, Obadiah Parker - Hey Ya cover

fitting

bed time

peace and love.

-aaron

February Stars

2009-11-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

No real explanation, no lengthy blog post. This just sums up how I'm feeling.

I'm hanging on
Here until I'm gone
I'm right where I belong
Just hanging on

Even though
I watched you come and go
How was I to know
You'd steal the show

One day I'll have enough to gamble
Ill wait to hear your final call
And bet it all

I'm hanging on
Here until I'm gone
I'm right where I belong
Just hanging on

Even though
Passed this time alone
Somewhere so unknown
It heals the soul

You'll ask for walls I'll build them higher
We'll lie in shadows of them all
I'd stand but they're much too tall
And I fall

FEBRUARY STARS!
FLOATING IN THE DARK!
TEMPORARY SCARS!
FEBRUARY STARS!

peace and love.

-aaron

so what? it's my life ain't it?

2009-10-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

another very restless night where i couldn't sleep but this time i didn't stay up all night

i'd like to say i'm not confused but in all reality i am....i really really am

not really sure how to take it, too afraid to ask

new changes in my life, so far so good, can't complain

we can discover the wonders of nature rolling in the brushes down by the riverside

some days i think that i wish i was married....i'm being honest, i really am so sick of being single
-i want to have that thing married couples have
-love maybe?
-to know that you have someone in your life that you care about more than anyone else even above yourself and that they feel the exact same way
-there's no way i'm ready to be married but i'm willing to give it a go if i were to find the right one

i'm not very witty lately, i've been in a very serious mood, i'm not really sure what to make of it

my mind just went blank so i'm done for now...

perhaps more later

peace and love.

-aaron

i think about the years i spent just passing through

2009-10-16T03:55:00.001-07:00

weird mood tonight.

didn't sleep at all. wasn't tired. way too much on my mind.

i really just don't know where i'm at.

i thought i had it figured out, but life just throws those curveballs at you, ya know?

i keep coming back to the same conclusion though.......

i think that i could be completely and utterly happy living in a cabin in the mountains with two dogs and working just an odd job at a ski resort or local resort restaurant.

i don't think i'm cut out for this whole "life" thing. i'm not going to be a contributing member of society, i have so many other things that are more important than to give back to the machine that is "society"

what do i need to do to make you see? i want you to so bad.

can't say i've felt like this in a long time. very odd.

i need a good drive. turn the music up, the windows down and just drive.

so many conflicting thoughts, ideas and views on everything. how can they all coincide?

5:01:19 AM
Friday, October 16, 2009

what am i doing?

my life has rocked up to this point, looking through so many things in my past.
i really don't think i would change it at all.

everything happens for a reason and karma is a bitch.
do good unto others and have good done unto yourself.

life is just so complicated in this day and age. i need to simplify.

love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart.

a slow mellow, steady river flowing through a quiet meadow. no rushing, no distractions. tributaries feeding the constant flow of the river like a an ever hungry beast. no outlet, just a constant mellow flow. easy and regular.

i need a waterfall, i need a rocky bottom, narrowing and steep. i need somewhere for this steady flow to go. there needs to be an outlet. i know what/who/where it is but am i just too scared?

yes.

we don't understand it, we probably never will.
it's so hard to tell what's going on.

are some things better on the other side?

i just found out there's no such thing as the real world.

5:18:33 AM
Friday, October 16, 2009

mental blocks are killing me.

-tributes to my friends

i miss you.

have fun.

wish i could tell you how i really feel.

you mean more than you will ever know.

you know me better than anyone else.

i love you like a brother.

you've been such a constant, thank you.

you make me smile.

you're the best influence i could ask for.

you just.......get me.

my head hurts.

i love you all.

peace and love.

-aaron

let's do this shit

2009-09-03T12:04:00.000-07:00

school has started.

wait for it.......wait for it.........I ACTUALLY LIKE CLASS THIS SEMESTER.
-amazing I know

Biology
-awesome professor
Gender and Politics
-interesting people, interesting concept for a class
Enviromental Studies
-combing so many things that I love, plus some pretty cool people
Earth Environments
-Geographyish class that is online and pretty cool

what else is new in my life?

i'm done at Riverton City, whoooo, so sick of working construction related jobs

starting back at Backcountry on Sunday, stoked for a job that I actually LIKE

been in a big music mood lately, a lot of Grateful Dead, Franti and other chill/fun music

my roommate is weird, really weird, won't even talk to me

thinking of going veggie again, this time with some actual knowledge

i love my friends

"listen pal, I'm not your buddy"

kapssh! kapssh kapssh!

i love you all

peace and love.

-aaron

i used to be cool

2009-07-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

today i got in a weird mood and decided to look over all my old blogs, journals, xanga, etc.
i used to be "okay" at writing, now it's all the same, lame shit.
this is the bullet from a gun named "what the fuck"?

did i just grow up or have i lost all my creativity? who knows? i don't think it's the latter because i've started writing songs/bass riffs that are decent and go well. i'm also big into photography these days.

maybe i've just realized that i'll leave writing to my other friends like marcie, alison, alex, etc.

found a place to live, hooray! me and b-will, should be a good time. you'd better believe it! you'd all better come and visit/house warm. if not, i'll hate you.

i'm confused on a lot of things right now, oh well. that's how life goes i guess.

been in a big acoustic mood lately. one man, one guitar, gold. mason jennings, jack johnson, willy mason, etc. love

maybe i need to find a "significant other", i hate that term and everything that is associated with it. i feel like i'm becoming too selfish having been single/by myself for so long. i need someone to kick me into a sense of providing/caring for someone else that isn't a "friend or brennan" (yes they're two different categories)

i won't let this build up inside of me, the tension that i feel behind my eyes all day every day. not a pain, more of a catch in my throat. choke? torn into pieces. just a nagging insistence that something is wrong. what the hell is wrong with you? i feel the eyes and ears on me at all times, are they really there though? it isn't real. ....i can't maker them real
not really a torment but i do whatever i want to myself and i don't know what to do, it makes me sick. the unrequited dream

the song that no one sings, doesn't seem fair, now does it? nameless or just thoughtless? a combination of both? who the hell are you and why are you here?

we're not that different, me and you. just misunderstood....probably. butterfly.
it's the story that goes on and on. neverending, from the beginning of time till the nonexistant end. the end is near.

i try to be supportive but how can i? honestly, tell me. it just doesn't make any sense to me......at all. tell me something sweet to get me by. what's the point of it all? no one actually cares or accomplishes anything. just those motivated few that no one really likes deep down. pats on the back and cheers but what does it all mean?

what am i doing wrong? oh god, what the hell am i doing wrong? fuck it, it's not worth dwelling on. take it, leave it or shut up. you have no room to talk. blah blah blah

"she says wake up, it's no use pretending."

why so fake? really though, just trying to be different by being the same. individual? think again. just like the others, those others that i hate so much. jealous? not one bit. i feel bad mostly. so young, so lost, so similar. just be yourself, don't pretend. all a bunch of pretentious bastards anyway. jude me, hate me, mock me, it's like fuel, fuel for my bitter heart.

the confidence swells in me every day. more and more, accumulating in an infinite way. i dig it. keep it coming, bah bah bah bah bah.

bitter, lonely, scared, sad, dejected, lost, confused, emotionless, bastardly, anxious

...........but happy. yes, very happy indeed. i love my life. i love my family. i love my music. i love my friends. whether you be in south jordan, salt lake, riverton, murray, midvale, provo or out of state. i love you.....lots. i may not show it always but i miss those i don't see often and wish you were here at all times. you may read this or you may not but either way it doesn't matter.

venting done.

i love you all.

peace and love.

-aaron

If It Means A Lot

2009-07-05T21:54:00.001-07:00

haven't been this happy in minutes

2009-07-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

hmmmmmmmm.........not really sure what i'm doing but i'm doing it

4th of july? one of the best holidays EVER

fireworks, family, golfing, giant slip n' slides, freedom, LOVE IT

i love my brother in law, for sure, one of the coolest guys i know

so happy that Big B-ren, B-Will, B-Real, Williams, Brennanan, etc. is home
-may Brenaaron be together once again
-we're taking it to the next level, as an official announcement we are moving in together, apartment theme = UTAH

i'm in love with Mason Jennings, went on another spending spree on iTunes
-i have a problem

i've been in a really good mood lately though

new friends, new adventures are fun

old friends and the usual thing is even better

my cousin is going to Argentina on his mission, I'm so stoked for him

my wish currently? to have enough money to buy a house of my own and two dogs to go along with it, i'm thinking Sugarhouse/Holladay area

i really want to start a restaurant as well, the name of it will be Cardiac's....it's a solid idea, i'm a big fan

getting a tattoo, i'm so happy/excited about it
-called about an appointment today

"if you need a reason as to why you're here, you don't need to look farther than me"

you know that feeling you get that feels good but you don't want it to?
-ah hell who am i kidding

i think way too much about it to be completely honest

just go with the flow

Summer of Love 2009, not so great so far, i need to start working on it

i'm out of thoughts,

i love you all

goodnight

peace and love.

-aaron

leave a message and i'll call you back

2009-05-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

what it is!

i'm really really happy

school is over

found a job where i work outside

sister is getting married in a week

"my missionary" gets back in like 10 days....the dynamic duo will be reunited

motorcycle weather

mountain biking

awesome weather

"sweet like candy to my soul"

it's a new day, no matter how you look at it

why be sad/mad when you have life?

breathing, living, love

new brother, stoked

my garden is planted....so many vegetables

i love my family

happy to be so close with my aunt/uncle/cousins, love the Allens

i have full respect for people who give 2 years of their life to a cause
-i know you guys will do great (my cousin jordan and rachel)
-you have all my support, both of you

i wish all of my friends well, even if we don't talk as much or keep in touch, i still think of you

"we were just wasting time.........doing nothing for the fun"

going to see Dave Matthews at the Gorge in August?????? I hope so

haven't wrote a blog in a loooooooooooong time

it feels good

i want to have a dance party

been watching A LOT of Sportscenter lately

been outside a lot as well which makes me extremely happy

want to go hiking and need a buddy

Environmental Studies, new Major? looks like it
-teaching certificate as well

i'm rad, you're rad, let's hug

i love you all

enjoy your days

peace and love.

-aaron

The revolution never comes with a warning!

2009-01-21T08:50:00.001-08:00

It's that time, you all knew it was coming...

Obama-Rama has begun!

I couldn't be happier.

It's going to be a great 4 years.

Even if you didn't vote for Obama the least you could do is support our President for the next 4 years since we're all stuck with him for at least 4 years.

All that matters if that you voted.

If you didn't vote, well then you have no room to complain at all about how this government is being run.

I bet everyone is going to be surprised at what comes out of this presidency, there are some new and great ideas that are going to go down and we should all look forward to it.

All I have to say is "Yes we can." no no no, "YES WE DID!"

peace and love.

-aaron

Even Jesus would never forgive what you do

2009-01-09T16:40:00.001-08:00

just a warning, if you're sensitive to harsh language, just stop here, this is going to be a very explicit blog.

i warned you.

let me just start out with what sparked this little blog.

i mean really????

you've got to be fucking kidding me. what is wrong with people? i saw this exact bumper sticker on someone's big fucking lifted truck today and all I did was flip them off....ridiculous

the f-15 is a HOMICIDE bomba

since when is peace settle with weapons? just because the US thinks it's okay. it's bullshit. that's all it is. i understand the middle east has been fighting over religion since life began but this is different entirely.

it doesn't matter who you are, we're all one people!

this guy is probably the same guy that went and bought a semi-automatic because we have a black democrat as a president. EVERYONE WATCH OUT HE'S GONNA DONE TAKE OUR GUNS

how ignorant can people be? fuck man, peace should have nothing to do with weapons.

there's too many people these days that have this mentality as well. it's absolutely ridiculous. "you don't have my view? oh well, i'll just shoot you and the rest of your country until you're so defenseless that you will just lay down in front of me, then i'll kill you anways"

i'm pissed, i'm done with people, if it's anyone that deserves to have gun control acted upon them, it's you, you mother fucker

i'm done.

here should be our true peace sign.

broken rifle symbol

legalize it! peace symbol

the rastas know what it's all about

peace and love.

-aaron

ps: Bob Dylan put it best.

Read it and believe it.

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand o'er your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead

so this is the new year

2008-12-28T00:06:00.000-08:00

fooled you.....this isn't actually a normal end of year post

weird times for sure...like really

lots of learning

lots of pain

lots of happiness

not as much positive as i'd hope

you gotta know when to hold em.....gotta know when to fold em

it's that point in my "game" that i need to fold em

just walk away and run

it's just not my thing and it was fun while it lasted

i may have lost this battle but in the end i'll win the war

with that said, i gotta know when to hold 'em

found some things to "hold" and i don't plan on letting them go

Goals for 2009: (list i came up with)

ski 50+ days this season (12 currently)
-ski the bowl
-huck a cliff
-ski at least 3-6 times a week
get down to 240
get at least a 3.0 this semester
hike timp by the end of the summer
move out
pay off my truck
keep up my vegetarian ways
dread my hair (optional)
grow a beard (pending)
stay at Backcountry.com
-get employee of the month
learn to flyfish
learn to rock climb/boulder better
backpack/camp at Brighton at least 2 nights
go mountain biking more
don't eat fast food (unless on vacation)
buy a dog
coach austin's (my cousin's) football team
make my own hoodie
develop a new dish (cooking)
learn something NEW

*IMPORTANT*
Stay positive
No breakdowns
Enjoy my family
Keep good influences in my life
Be a good son, brother, cousin, nephew and friend
STAY HAPPY
Change in body, mind, emotions and spirit

kind of lame but instead of a new year's resolution, it's more of 2009 goals

some are going to be hard and will need assistance along the way from good people in my life

some are going to involve pushing away

good things come in small packages/subtle ways

things happen for a reason, karma karma karma

you're more impactful than you might think

it's always in the back of my head

i wouldn't give any of it up...even the bad

made me learn

....might be too late

i'll be doing my best and i'll see you soon...

amazing the emotion that i feel

my family is wonderful

more respect than i could imagine

i never want to let you down

somewhere a clock is ticking...

i need something to look forward to

in between isn't a good state

you're so much like me....i'm sorry

it was a sad christmas for me too bro

i'm happy you didn't follow me in all ways

being a role model feels good

i'll keep an eye on them

let me tell you the years go by and we're still fighting it

7/11 hot chocolate isn't as near as good as starbucks

you make me laugh

enjoyable to say the least

so weird to be back here

therapy for the mind

snow is beautiful, calm and romantic

i needed that, i need it

soothe my soul

i love you all, goodnight

peace and love.

-aaron

seriously

2008-12-18T08:54:00.000-08:00

rude people piss me off

there's no need to freak out at me because you waited to do your christmas shopping a week before christmas.

yes, you have to pay for upgraded shipping to get a package there by christmas.

no, i'm not going to give you the price we had on a jacket that was on sale 2 days ago.

no, i won't give you free 2-day shipping.

you can call me unprofessional and unethical and bad at customer service, but i'm doing my job correctly. if someone else in the company does it for you then good for them, they're not following company guidelines.

yes, i think you're an asshole.

sorry, just needed to vent a little bit after last night....it was a rough night at work

see you soon

2008-12-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

some days i really do miss you like crazy bro

you really are the brother i never had

today is one of those days

when my ipod decides to play all the songs that remind me of you

chiodos, chariot, limbeck, kenny rogers, the honorary title...

seeing other people come back makes me even more antzy/excited

6 more months...

i sound like a girl

enough with that

i love snow

everything about it, so peaceful, so serene, so happy

it's nights like this i wish i had a girlfriend, snowy outside, fire going in the fireplace, just chillin on the couch

it'll happen, just gotta wait it out

christmas is a fun time of year, i love it, lights on the houses, christmas trees on and bright, christmas music wherever you go, snow on the ground, so many people are happy

dealing with customers this time of year is GENERALLY a good experience, for the most part they're all just asking simple questions about gifts, it's nice

t-minus one month and counting for school

i gave my life, i gave my all

10+ ski days already this year

so what, guess what, i'm having more fun and i'm gonna show you

we need to find the source of the warming

been working on a poem/song.....definition

wish i was with my family, stupid work

change happens

drifting, nothing in common, somewhat depressing

need someone to ski with

birds are leaving over autumn's end

a new year, a new attitude, start it on a good note

i like cooking

tofu

in slow motion the blast is beautiful

i like my camera

nice people at the store are great

everybody knows it sucks to grow up

i have to work Christmas Eve and Christmas :(

the years go on and we're still fighting it

the hot tub is stellar

my parent's house is cozy

need to leave, get out there

do my thing

i need a dog

how do you define yourself?

what makes you...YOU?

20 years is a long time but just a start

so much more to learn

so confused with what i want

conflicting sides, pros and cons

to my surprise my eyes were already wide and open

and each person i encountered i couldn't wait to meet

sometimes i wonder what people are doing

what motivates such young people to get married

true love? seems like a myth sometimes

love is like a role that we play

too much pain in the world

pessimist

i'm gonna try and make you laugh

i still remember what i said that day, just pretended to forget

i won't forget and still mean it

young, naive and scared/scarred

i'll miss my cousin when he's on his mish

everyone and everything starts today

let's keep it together

i have a larger support group than i think sometimes

need to open up more, too secretive

fa sha brah.......word haha

i can see a lot of life in you

i want to dance

i need a good drive...next weekend

i find thigs beautiful that others don't

now there's a turnbout, maybe because i'm trying

just can't turn and walk away

good times were had, i'll admit that

never have i ever, waterfall, thumper

words i've never heard coming from your eyes

cavanaugh park still remains at the top

i do miss you sometimes

you always said destiny would blow me away

i need my own cavanaugh park, i think brighton is the closest place
someplace for me to be terribly happy

long free flowing blogs, run out, clear the air

some things never do change :)

things happen for a reason

karma is a bitch

take that

toned down my swearing noticably lately

....be proud

one word for the new year...change

all aspects, all areas, all disciplines

physical, mental, emotional, spiritual

it comes for you, snapping at your heels

running out of thoughts

goodnight my loves, enjoy yourselves

....i'll see you soon

peace and love.

-aaron

ps: don't read to much into this, just random thoughts late last night while listening to music at an inhumane level

mother superior jumped the gun...

2008-12-09T21:15:00.001-08:00

Happiness is...

a peanut butter and jelly/honey sandwich while driving up the canyon

driving up the canyon

bob marley

phone calls with my dad about skiing

2 skis, 2 poles

a snow covered slope

Brighton ski resort

powder shots

smiling through the cold

the pain and tension in your legs after a day of skiing

my knees hurting from skiing

working with people that you enjoy

working a job that you love

getting praise

seeing other people happy

an email from a good friend

plans to go skiing with an old friend

writing a blog

listening to good music

dinner with my mom

green tea

a veggie burrito

knowing people care

caring about other people

Today was a good day :)

peace and love.

-aaron

score!

2008-12-08T09:58:00.001-08:00

i'm no longer in a fight with mother nature

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

what it is, what it do

2008-12-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

free flowing thought time! ready........go!

human beings are fickle fickle creatures

all we are is another species in this wondrous thing called the universe, nothing more, noting less, no greater than any other animal

there's a direct correlation between people that wear hollister and people that are unhappy, this was studied and verified upon research at disneyland

disneyland is a fun place until you get sick of all the people

people even in the simplest of places will lie, cheat and steal their way to the top or the front, anything really that gives them an advantage

i have a really big obsession with hoodies right now, just a zip-up hoodie can make me happy right now

i need to quit spending money if i plan on moving out soon

i found some places to move out, we'll see how it pans out

i'm officially in a fight with mother nature until further notice, i'll let you know when the fight ends

i need some new hats, i'm thinking seattle mariners or LA Dodgers, i dig it

there's nothing better than a cold glass of water, no matter what the situation

i like vegetables right now, probably at an absurd level

good friends are fun, being comfortable is a plus as well

who knew that beets and chocolate could be combined into a work of art and tastiness? i'll tell you who, The Food Network

i like cooking, anyone need a homemade dinner?

i don't have good stories, i need more movie-like situations in my life

with that being said, i'm going to marry an animal and see how it pans out, it could be a full series! .......with a lot of complaints

oh relationships, funny funny things

at this point it's completely out of our hands

supposedly i've become more chill and laid back in the past little while, i'm not really sure how it happened, i like it though, i'm not uptight anymore like i used to be

you just gotta let those rocks roll off your back

enjoy the moment for what it is

not everything has a meaning all the time

sometimes things just happen and shouldn't be thought in to, take pleasure in it

my job rocks, i rock at it

i'm rad, you're rad, let's hug

i'm actually starting to get excited for school.........did i actually just say that? someone hit me

peanut butter and honey sandwiches are heaven after a work out

i haven't been able to sleep the last couple of nights

maybe i'm thinking too much about things

me think........ha

my family is awesome, extremely easy to get along with and have a discussion with, maybe i'm the only one that thinks that

gas is $1.40 in So-Jo.......i might cry out of happiness

i need someone to spend money on since i keep buying myself things

i have funny/good christmas ideas for people, i make myself laugh sometimes

i practiced Guitar Hero today......64,000 is unacceptable

lest we remember indiana jones pinball and 7,500,00

haha :)

good days aren't so few and far between these days

i like it

i like this feeling

i like blogging

first impressions aren't important

keeping up an impression is hard to do but my goal with people

changing impressions isn't easy but it's doable

i feel like an apple

tangent is gone, Iron Chef took my attention

i love you all, you're all great people

peace and love

-aaron

and for a minute there, i lost myself

2008-11-30T21:11:00.000-08:00

to be honest, i have no idea what i'm blogging about. i just kind of felt like sitting down and typing then seeing what comes of it.

do you ever wish you could be someone else just to see what goes through their head and why? i've been thinking about this a lot lately and i really don't think i would enjoy it. sure it would be fun for a while, but it would start to feel invasive even if you were "meant" to be there.

i've been really big into radiohead lately, i'm not sure what it is, but it's awesome. i really dig radiohead and the way their music makes me feel.

so it's kind of cool having an older brother figure like rob in my life. i feel like he's the big brother that i never had and i'm excited for him and angie to move back to salt lake so we can start doing stuff together.

with saying that, i'm also excited for them to have kids. i love little kids, it's kind of weird almost. i don't want to get married or anything but i want to have kids way bad. i just love the innocence of them and how much fun they can be. that's what i love about hanging with my little cousin austin, i'm such an influence on his life and i love it!

i really want to teach a little kid to ski or snowboard.

work is sort of kind of stressful right now with the number of people that are on the website at one time asking the stupidest questions known to man. people that don't even participate in outdoor activities could answer these questions most of the time.

working in customer service has made me realize, some people are just not happy....EVER. it's kind of sad actually. you try and cheer people up and they still are complete jerks. it makes me want to ask them "what's so bad in your life?" "you're buying a $500 pair of skis and you act like it's the worst thing in the world." it's crazy. some people just need to live a little sometimes and be happy.

i'm completely and utterly in love with the food network. i watch in entirely too much for a 20 year old guy. i love the channel though, so many awesome things on there.

i really need it to snow. clearly we're being punished for something, i'm sorry mother nature, i take all the blame on my shoulders. i apologize for whatever this state did to you. it was probably that guy i saw throw a bag of mcdonald's out his window today.

sometimes i actually think there was a Karma Police, it would be so cool to have someone enforcing Karma. although i do feel like it's a real thing because you always get what's coming to you in the end. i've been on the receiving end of some bad karma in my day, it's chill though.

you ever had that feeling like you're being a hypocrit but you know that you're doing the right thing in doing so?

sometimes i feel like my words fall upon deaf ears. either my words aren't worth hearing or i need to find a new audience. it's probably my fault for having "deaf ears" for so long. i don't belong here.

but in so many ways i do, my family is here. my true passions in life are here. i thought people in Utah were so lame for so long but some of the best people i know are part of those people i used to consider lame. where would i be without their influences in my life? you're right, probably dead or in jail.

i've never been one to rely on other people, but i've come to realize, other people keep me sane. interaction with people i enjoy keeps me sane. there's nothing i would give up for the chance to talk with some people any day of the week.

christmas is just around the corner and i seriously am way excited about it this year. this is the first time in a long time i've felt in the Christmas spirit. it's more than just a time of year, it's a frame of mind.

i love people that are in tune with themselves. they know who they are and enjoy it. the cool thing is with each person when they come to embrace what and who they are it's what draws me in. i guess i'm attracted to confidence since i lacked it for so long.

i lost my train of though, stupid espn. so that means i'm done for the night. expect more in the coming weeks, i'm in a very thoughtful mood.

i love you all.

peace and love.

-aaron

no, i don't feel like i'm falling down....i'm headed somewhere

2008-11-28T23:42:00.000-08:00

it's what it is. a thanksgiving time blog. blah blah blah.
i'm thankful for my family and all that they do for me. i'm thankful to have rob as the newest member of our family, he makes angie so happy and that in turn makes me happy. my mom and dad are two of the greatest people on earth. i couldn't ask for anyone better.

i'm thankful for my friends. thanks for putting up with me, there's not many that i talk to these days, but you're all great.

it's amazing how some of the little things in life make you happy and remember the good times and make you wonder why you pushed away. sa'll good, some things just happen.

i had a conversation tonight over tea and hot chocolate (with rachel) and we talekd about the whole marriage thing and it got me thinking...what is it with people our age getting married? no college, no careers, no care in the world except each other...it just boggles my mind, i mean i can honestly say i've never felt "true love" but i just don't see why getting married rigth away is better and easier than getting through college and into a job. i guess i'm of the minority in this great state of utah.

bah bah bah bah baaaaaah

i've got a skip in my step and a song in my heart these days. i haven't been this happy in years. i love it. life is good. life will always be good, just gotta look at the positive side. also you gotta treat people right and you'll receive the same, karma is a bitch and i've come to see that.

i've come to appreciate the finer things in life, good music, good food, good friends and most importantly family. i'm so grateful to be raised where i have with the people in my life. it's great.

skiing almost every day, going to a job that i love, holiday season, going to california next week, actually excited to go back to school....seriously, freaking stoked on my life right now.

i hope everyone is in the same boat. when you feel like you're falling down, just remember those good times and surround yourself with the comforts of your life. it sounds easier said than done, but i'm a true believer in that these days.

i've tried a lot of things in the past year and done a lot of things i shouldn't have, but where i'm sitting right now is where i want to be. got a couple more things i need to do but those will be another process over the next couple of months.

my vegetarianism is going great, i'm totally full on in it. the only meat i've eaten in the past little while is some seafood for thanksgiving which i promised my mom i would eat a little bit of "real meat".

this christmas is going to be awesome, this is the first year i've actually been into it and the whole giving mood. i'm excited to see my family's eyes on christmas morning when they open their stuff. sooooo stoked.

well now i'm just rambling, just wanted to throw out some positive vibes to all of you since i'm in such a good mood.

peace and love.

-aaron

what it do?

2008-11-19T21:24:00.000-08:00

New updates in my life...skiing has started, i spend the majority of my time doing this.

I have a new love in my life, her name is Line Chronic 181 with a 90mm Marker Jester. She's beautiful (for those that don't know, those are my new skis)

I'm going back to school in the spring. Yay Marketing/Business Administration major!

Did I mention I love my job??? Yes? Well I thought I would reiterate the point.

Backcountry.com check it out for all your outdoor needs....#1 retailer on the web woot!

so i voted...i baracked it fo sho, you know how i do

i won't go into any political spills, but yeah, just a run down, happy about president, pissed about prop 8, pissed about buttars and chaffetz. that's the end of that.

b-to-the-ren comes home in like 6 months....can you say STOKED?? seriously though

i'm going to disneyland the week after thanksgiving, it's going to be awesome. me, rob, angie, mom and dad the happy roberts/haddock family.

rob and angie are now getting married in may which means i'm that much closer to spoling little nieces and nephews.

i had an epiphany the other day, i really want to have a kid, not illegitimate but like a real kid, i love the little tykes and want to teach one how to ski.

by the way, i'm holding open lessons this winter for anyone who wants to learn how to snowboard. if you're interested, let me know. i only charge your company on the slopes, but seriously who wouldn't want to hang out with me.

dating is stupid, i'm done with dates until i find a girl that i really like. seriously. it's just a waste of money for me when they're boring as shit or whatever else. that being said, i'm more than happy to take people that i know out to eat for some good conversation and laughs. if interested hit me up.

i've become so desensitized to thing it's not even funny i've decided. i can talk about the most obscene things and not even be phased by it anymore. it's kind of sad in a sense that's what our generation has come to. but in a way, i like it. it's make everyone a little bit more open with each other. being more open with each other is just another step towards equality in my book.

i'm going to bed because i'm going skiing in the morning so let me just say that i hope everyone has a great day/night, i wish good things to you and love you all.

peace and love.

-aaron

i'm gonna get in trouble, i wanna start a fight

2008-10-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

so planning a wedding is super weird i've decided. even though i'm not planning it persay, it's just weird to think that in a year my sister and rob will be married and stuff. it's gonna be an epic wedding though, i'm stoked for sure.

so i'm reverting back to my vegetarian ways of earlier this year...i was kind of sad when i had to start eating meat again because my doctor said, but i talked to him again and he gave me ways to do it "right" this time.

so i'm entirely a sucker when it comes to everything. someone asks me to do something and i just do it without hesitation. i don't know if it's a bad thing (it is at times) but i really don't know what else to do really. i've tried the whole asshole thing before and it just wasn't me, so wo knows.

i invented a breakfast concoction and it's delicious. berries, banana, carrot juice and some yogurt. i threw in some wheatgrass today and it's great, i love it.

so i had my first day of "work" yesterday that wasn't training. it was fun, the nice thing about it is people are very rarely upset when they talk to me. they're usually just wondering about an order they placed or have questions about outdoors gear. looooooooove it whoo!

i'm such a home body these days. i feel like i'm just drifting away from people. i don't really talk to anyone anymore other than the occasional hello or what's up. everyone just found "new friends" which is awesome.

so i had a really awkward conversation with my extended family on saturday at Austin's football game. they seriously asked me "so if you're not going on a mission, why aren't you dating anyone? have you thought about getting married? are you going to be like your sister and wait until you're 24?"

--i really just didn't know how to answer that...the last question was extremely hurtful, like me and my sister are freaks because we didn't/aren't getting married at like 20-21. i realize it's abnormal in Utah but seriously? maybe I don't want to just date anyone, i'd rather find someone who i really like and shit. oh well, we've always been the outcasts of the family. at least they're actually talking to us now and not calling me the spawn of satan (my dad).

speaking of Austin, i'm taking him under my wing. his older brother (jordan) is such a douche it's not even funny. he doesn't do anything with him, so i find myself taking austin to dinner and mini golfing and stuff. i just feel like he needs an older brother type to lead him in the right direction in this crazy day and age. he's a stud on the football field though, he's gonna be a hell of an athlete when he's older.

just some quick one liners to end this random ass blog:

park city is such a cool place
im' obsessed with the new pink song
i love weight lifting
sexdrive is a damn funny movie
i have a crush on kate nash
i need some new music, anyone who has ideas let me know

that's it, i'm through!

peace and love.

-aaron

so this one time i blogged

2008-10-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

i'm bored, so i guess i'll write a blog.

i've officially quit WoW. i know, i know, i'm a nerd.

i absolutely freaking love my new job. it's amazing.

it's so great to go to work and be able to talk about the things i love. skiing, snowboarding, hiking, camping, etc. not only do i get to talk to customers about it, but also my coworkers.

i'm getting less excited to work at home because i want to be in that environment, but it will be awesome nonetheless, plus i can move around in the company if i wish. the biggest thing is i get a killer discount, like 40-60% off basically, it's epic.

i went to brighton this week and oh my god i'm so excited. skiing is soooooooooooo close. i can't wait to get on the slopes again. my love and passion is so near.

i have officially been alcohol free for 3 weeks now. it feels kind of good not relying on it for fun. may not be a big accomplishment, but i thought it was neat.

blogspot rocks because it saves your blogs as you're writing them. (i just closed the window on accident and it saved.)

what else? it doesn't seem like christmas is right around the corner, it's crazy man. crazy shit indeed. dani party? i'm stoked.

that's it for tonight, i'm boring blah blah.

peace and love.

-aaron

this is a story all about how...

2008-10-08T07:33:00.000-07:00

i watched the debate. that's all i'm going to say since everyone knows my stance on politics. i thoroughly enjoyed it at points and wanted to break an old man's shoulders (again) at other times.

so i've been taking these pills called Noxycut (after doing much research on the subject). it's a knockoff of Hydroxycut which is made especially for men. has some crazy ass metabolism increasers and caffeine to burn fat blah blah blah but it also has added creatine and tribulus (which is a form of testosterone). i'm going to be straight up and honest i've been super fucking hyped*** the last couple of days. i am noticing results though, which rocks. i'll probably die from them or something, oh well, as long as i look good.

i forgot how much i love weight lifting. i got really into it at the end of senior year (high school) and it really just makes me feel good. i hurt like hell right now but it's one of those good hurts. i've thought since high school i've lost some of my "intensity" but i think i'm starting to get my competitive edge back, which could be scary haha.

since i put my 2 weeks notice in, i have successfully done 0 work in 60 hours so far. man this is awesome.

tomorrow is my last day at west valley and i couldn't be happier.

i love facebook for stalking, it's great. gives me something to do with my day while at work.

i'll probably write something later.

peace and love.

-aaron

time and time again, we fall into the depths of who we are

2008-10-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

snow. that's really all i need to say is snow. hell yes!

so let me first just say what has been on my mind lately. i think i'm done drinking for a while. after saturday night i really just don't have a desire to anytime soon. i was so hungover and sick on sunday it wasn't even funny. the thought of alcohol makes me ill.

between tony romo/dallas cowboys and brian johnson/utah utes i'm going to have a heart attack before this football season is over.

you all can judge me all you want, but i miss playing high school football so much.

i love watching my cousins play, (jordan is on the bingham team) austin is still in little league but he's a bad ass. he's going to be such a stud when he's older. he's 10 and he has had like 3 games of 100+ yards of rushing. i love that kid to death, we're buds.

halle-fuckin-lujah! it's my last week at West Valley. i'm going to celebrate so much on thursday. if anyone wants to join in on my celebration (which is still undecided) let me know.

i feel like going on a road trip. i wish i wasn't starting at backcountry so soon (next week) because i really want to go on a road trip to somewhere.

i'm excited to find some new friends when i go back to school/start the new job. i'm in a rut with my social life.

today i started my new diet/workout plan. i've had success so far (since january) and am looking to continue my weight loss to reach my goal. i've come to realize i'm never going to be hollister/abercrombie size but i'm okay with that, my body isn't made to be like that. my shoulders are far too broad to even come close.

i'm about 6'2 and looking to get to about 240 which for that height is a very height/weight proportional weight. i'm not looking to become super skinny but have more of an athletic look. i know most of you don't care although Dani is the only one that reads i think.

i need a new place to work out once i start at backcountry, i will no longer have access to the West Valley facilities. i'm thinking of going to Lifetime Fitness. i'll just have to go in the morning (before 2 pm) or after 10:30 pm.

i really want to go out for sushi and am willing to pay if anyone wants to go.

i guess i should get back to pretending to work. i mean seriously, i'm quitting what's the point in working?

peace and love.

-aaron

was that a wolf?

2008-09-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

can i please just say how much i love camping?

i fucking love it. life is so simple when you're camping. i mean seriously, it's just you and nature. i especially like it now since i have a single tent so i feel like it's just me while i'm sleeping.

i went to yellowstone with angie and rob. those two are so in love it's not even funny. i just hope someday i can find what they have together. they just look so happy all the time.

angie is crazy sometimes, oh well.

saw a shit-ton of bison and elk but no bears.

i think the coolest thing were the wolves we heard last night howling and barking while they were chasing an elk (this is just speculation but we're pretty sure after talking to a ranger).

i'm a pyro. i love fire. i love starting fires.

i got attacked by a crazy piece of wood.

sometimes i feel like i'm in a fraternity because i have a motorcycle. our neighbors in the campground were on motorcycles and we turned into best friends.

someone destroyed the Obama sign in our yard. not to mention the fact that i got yelled at during a stop light because i support Obama.

"go spew your liberal propaganda elsewhere you hippie!" said the 30-something year old guy in downtown south jordan.

i politley said back to him "i wasn't spewing anything, i tastefully have an obama sticker on my truck that just says "hope" on it."

then he muttered something about socialism and kids these days don't know anything and i just smiled at him and threw a piece sign.

seriously, who does that?

it's a little upsetting actually. why can't everyone be like the nice ranger lady in yellowstone who was a McCain supporter but said to me "i'm genuinely happy to see the younger generation getting involved in politics even if we don't agree."

i kind of want to be a park ranger now after seeing them work for a couple days.

i applied at backcountry.com, i have an interview on tuesday and wednesday. i'm excited but extremely nervous at the same time.

more to come later this week, i'm sure.

peace and love.

-aaron

frustration?

2008-09-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

2 torn ligaments.

awesome. at least they don't require surgery at this point in time. basically he told me though that i'll need surgery sometime within the next 5 years.

it hurts like hell, i'm not gonna lie.

why do things have to be so fucking complicated? that's really all i have to say.

where's the metaphorical "easy" button? i've heard so much about it. i don't have things to turn to that make things easier for me. instead i usually just put up with shit until it gets better or goes away.

i'm a sucker. no, really i am. i pour my heart out too easily and it just ends up biting me in the end. i trust too easily and that's not a good thing. i used to be one that would trust a lot of people with things but i really don't think i can do that anymore.

who honestly knows what's going to happen, right? i mean everyone thinks they have an idea, but no one can actually control it. kharma is a bitch.

money isn't everything. all it does is buy things. the things i need in life can all be obtained without money. i kind of wish it was never invented and everyone just bartered still.

my mind has been racing lately, as i'm sure you can see. i just have a lot of things to figure out. that's why i started writing in my blog again. it helps me to know that i can let all my thoughts and emotions out. it's almost even more helpful knowing people i care about can read deep into my head.

i've been pretty distant lately.

it's just hard to say how i feel today when years have gone by.

peace and love.

-aaron

i followed suit and laid out on my back....imagine that

2008-09-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

blah.

no really, blah.

that's really about the extent of my emotions these days.

i feel like i'm just rolling through life, not even running or just walking but rolling. every little bump that comes along it forces me in a different direction. one long/endless roll that makes me dizzy. as my head is spinning i feel that i need to make the big decisions in my life.

i know i'm only 20, but i feel like now is the time i need to stand up and start walking. quit rolling and take lead in my life. instead of bumps and obstacles pushing me in the other direction i'll walk over them.

i'm going back to school. it only took me a year to figure out that is the next move in my life. i wish i would have taken that year right out of high school instead of wasting 1 1/2 years of money and time.

marketing.

wanted to do it since high school, it's the only thing that has been a constant in the back of my head. sure i won't make a difference in anyones life or make a lot of money, but i feel like i'll enjoy it.

that's what i need right now is to enjoy the things i do. i've been so depressed since high school more or less. i don't know if it's more or less depressed as it is repressed. i don't know. i feel like i've grown up but at the same time i haven't.

i try to pretend that it's easy for me to meet new people. but it's not. i'm comfortable with the people i have in my life right now, but i know i need to get out and meet people. i also need to patch some old friendships and relationships that i dearly miss.

i need to find a new job. i'm finally over the whole engineering/cadd thing. i hated it and couldn't be happier with my decision.

i feel like i'm home now, like i'm coming around from a trip. not an actual trip, but more of a metaphorical trip. it was nice, but it's even better to be home.

my sister is "officially" engaged. whoo hoo. cheer. blah blah blah.
-i guess it's not as exciting since she's been living with the guy for a year now.
-i like Rob a lot, he's a good guy. like the brother i never had.

i have potentially torn ligaments in my ankle, i found out for sure this week. hopefully i don't need surgery.

i'm looking forward to winter, i don't want, i NEED to start skiing again. hopefully i can with this whole ankle thing.

i hope the best for everyone. give me a hint if you read this, i just want to know who my audience is.

peace and love.

-aaron

the lines became all fuzzy and frayed

2008-06-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

i don't like change.

it doesn't matter what it is, but if it's changing i don't like it.

i went to brighton today and was deeply saddened. so many things from when i was a little child have changed.

it's that time in everyone's life where things just start to be different.

summer nights are enjoyable when you're with family and friends. i really enjoy my back patio a lot. it allows for seamless conversation that can go on for hours that includes laughs and sometimes tears. a cigar with my dad every once in a while is a nice treat as well.

i'm excited for the factor to come home. it's been 2 years and i couldn't be more happy to have another friend in my life. now if only that dang williams kid would just come home early haha.

i've lost 50 pounds since the end of january, that's pretty exciting.

all in all life is okay right now. i just need a break to clear my head.

goodnight.

the moon whispered as i wandered lonely through the leaves

2008-06-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry.

sometimes we all get fed up and need to vent. sometimes things that you don't really mean can become misconstrued and hurtful. also some "friends" in that context are cousins.

we've all said things we don't mean in the heat of the moment.

i've got a lot on my plate that i try to hide.

2 aunt's have cancer, a mother diagnosed with Reynaud's and possibly Lupus, new responsibilities at work, struggling with myself and family

it became overwhelming and i became angry and had to lash out in the wrong way.

take this as you please. if this is the end, have a good one. if not, then it is a beautiful day to you and everyone.

peace and love.

hmmmm

2008-06-04T14:32:00.001-07:00

I guess I'll just keep my blogs to my personal journal from here on out, peace.